Man-scaping is something that you should be doing and shouldn’t be afraid to do. Since you clicked this link, you probably have a little bit of an open mind and are willing to take some advice. Hear me out; you won’t regret reading this. Many men think it is taboo to take care of their man-parts or the rest of their body hair. Today I hope to change the perception. Don’t worry, I am not going to get into specifics or too graphic. Your girl will appreciate it, your junk and face will appreciate it, and more importantly, you will enjoy it.

1What is Man-scaping?

You guys know the three S’s right? “Shit, Shower, Shave.” We all do this in preparation for a night out without our lady or before we go to work in the morning. It’s part of our daily personal hygiene. Man-scaping should be in that routine. “Matt, isn’t man-scaping where you go to the spa and have a pedicure, manicure, and your eyebrows waxed?” It can be, but it doesn’t have to be that. I am not saying give yourself the same treatment your wife or girlfriend gives themselves. That’s a bit much for me, but if that is what you are into then by all means. Man-scaping, in my opinion, is the art of taking care of your body and facial hair.

2Why Is This Necessary?

Some of you look like this. No, not the abs. I’m talking about the carpet you have in your pants.

Now that we got the actual meaning and confusion out of the way, we can move on to the important questions. The reason it is important would seem obvious, yet here we are. Listen, guys, we shave because it is common courtesy for your lady. Imagine if you have your wild bush down there and you have a unibrow. You think she wants to give oral sex to someone who appears to have the same amount of hair down there as Sasquatch or that looks like that European chick from Dodgeball? What about your scraggly beard? You think she likes kissing that? I didn’t think so. Do you want the same thing when you are taking care of her? Do you mind if she grows out her armpit hair? Think about it and put yourself in her shoes you selfish prick.

Hygiene Note:

It is just good personal hygiene. The more hair you have, the more unhygienic your junk will be. Unsanitary in smell and appearance. Hair traps a lot of microscopic pests as well as bacteria; do you want that next to your manhood? Do you want food particles getting caught in your unkempt neck hair? Especially relevant, it looks bigger after shaving!

3Tips To Proper Grooming

You can use a beard trimmer for your pubic hair and beard but not the same one. Don’t be gross.

“Bigger you say?! Fuck yeah! I need all the help I can get!” While that’s probably true and I am sure most of you are going to try this for that sole reason alone, slow down and let’s talk about the tools you need. I would not suggest going to grab your razor that you used to shave with yesterday. That’s just stupid.

Pubic Hair

If you have the Amazon jungle going on, start off with a beard trimmer (go with the smallest guard possible). Obviously not the one you use for your face but a new one. Just be careful. After trimming, if you want to go completely bald, you should use a brand new razor. You should use shaving cream to avoid razor burn. Next, if you want to do the testicles, you can, but it is optional since there is not that much hair; If you do, use caution. Extreme caution. Do not use a beard trimmer on them; you will hurt yourself. A razor and shaving cream can do the job, but be sure to take it slow and careful.

NOTE: Stay away from chemicals such as Nair! You may think I wouldn’t need to say that, but I have heard countless stories of experiences with Nair, and they don’t have a happy ending.

Uni-brow and Beard

Anthony Davis and his unibrow before man-scaping
Anthony Davis makes more money than you do so you can’t get away with it.

Moving on to that uni-brow, it’s simple. Get some tweezers and pluck it, Anthony Davis! Lastly, clean that beard up with a separate beard trimmer for that nasty, unkempt beard of yours. Get some beard oil and wash that thing on a daily basis to remove food particles. Also, get rid of the neckbeard while you’re at it.

4You’re Going To Appreciate It

Haha…made you look. Good luck sleeping tonight

Listen, fellas; I am not saying you should go to a salon and get a Brazilian wax done.  I am not telling you that it is going to make you presentable to the opposite sex.  In fact, I want you to be comfortable in your own skin, but understand that if you are a hairy mother fucker, chances are you have some bad hygiene going on down there and on your face, and it is time to put a stop to it. It’s not a fashion fad that will wear off. It’s here to stay and it is time to jump aboard the man-scaping train you Neanderthal. You do not want to be left behind. Get it done! Your lady will thank you.

 

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