Some time ago, some like-fucking-minded individuals and I were enjoying the type of humor that only a man can truly appreciate. From this came a noble vision. It was not unlike that of Moses and his burning bush. We must share our life lessons with those less fortunate. Not less fortunate in wealth, but in experience, with our lifestyle of debauchery, mind-altering substances, and guns. Surely there are pointers we can give those who are wondering what that awesome noise is coming from our end? I’m glad they asked because there are plenty of bar etiquette tips, and don’t call me Shirley.
Author Bio: Drew
Background on the Drewster: I’m a career bartender of 20+ years. I’ve blown lines off of strippers’ asses on my bar, fucked servers in dry storage, thrown 1 Percenters out on their asses, had my nose broken more than I can count, and have had more shots than the Korangal Valley has seen. My column will impart unto you the good, the bad, and the questionable experiences I’ve had in front, behind, and occasionally on top of my pulpit. As an added bonus, every month I’ll teach you how to make a real drink.
Now a little teaser of what’s in store for our readers in Bar Etiquette!
The proper Vodka Martini everyone should know how to make:
- Dry Vermouth
- Martini or Cocktail Glass
- Vodka (Good Vodka, not garbage)
- Large Spanish Olives
- Long Cocktail Toothpicks
What you do:
- Fill shaker with ice
- Pour dry vermouth into shaker
- Shake 4-5 times
- Pour liquid out
- Pour into 3oz good vodka (preferably potato, but I’m Irish)
- Shake that bitch like Ike did Tina
- Strain into martini glass
- Garnish with 3 large Spanish olives
- Get classy
Delta Poppa out