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Our Fun Fact Friday fact is all about testicles.  Nuts. Balls. Scrotes. You get the picture.

A cross-section cut of human testicles.
Step inside the baby making factory.

Did you know a Kenyan man, Forence Owiti Opiyo, who had the world’s largest testicles just had a successful reconstructive surgery?  His gonads swelled to ten times their normal size.  And, if it weren’t for a neighbor posting to Facebook, he may never have received help.  It was performed in two surgeries, and he will have enough use of his penis that he will be able to have kids.

Ask Google about the world’s smallest testicles, and there are over 1,000,000 results. Apparently, of men who have done a lot of drugs and believe that each has the world’s tiniest coin purse.  But, relative to other animals, Man starts off with a small set of huevos, possibly due to lack of competition.  However, his ovals do swell during sexual arousal.

Howler monkeys live a weird existence, when it comes to their package.  The bigger the hyoid, the louder their call.  The louder the call, the smaller their testes.  Weird.

When two testicles go wrong.

Men usually have two testicles, but polyorchidism can affect men, leaving them with as many as five semen factories.  Here’s an article on the NIH and a four-testicle man.

Animals are nutty

 

A diagram of a howler money's larynx.
Someone is compensating.

Bush cricket testicles account for 14% of its body, meaning it has the largest nuts in proportion to its body.  The Northern Giant Mouse Lemur have the largest gonads in the ape family.  The Right Whale has the largest set overall, weighing more than a ton!  Conversely, there isn’t much literature on the smallest sex organs.  Apparently, no one cares about that.

 

 

A sea cucumber releases its sperm
Different species. Same effect.

But, we can extrapolate some information and figure out some things.  Animals with fewer sexual competitors don’t need large organs.  So, penguins and doves probably have small sacs as they tend to mate for life.  Since it’s dog-eat-dog for insects, proportionate to their size, there should be some huge testicles.  However, since insects are small, people would classify them as having the smallest overall nuts.

 

 

They would be wrong

There are single-celled organisms that sexually reproduce (diatoms and sea sponges came up in the search).  These would have the smallest testes in the animal kingdom.  They can produce asexually as well, so they are like the MacGuyver of the sexual world.

Vasectomy

A close up picture of Diet Dr. Pepper Cherry ChocolateSometimes you want all of the flavor and none of the calories.  Vasectomies are great in that they prevent unwanted children.  That’s better than the bee who has an explosive vasectomy and penectomy during intercourse with the virgin queen.

The moral of all this information is to be happy with your junk.  It could be another man’s treasure.

Thanks for stopping by,

Colin

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