If you want to win a girl’s heart, there is a truth that reigns supreme. Dreams matter. There are many types of women in the world, let’s not try to box us all into little stereotypes. However, whether a woman wants to be totally independent, dependent, or somewhere in between, you can bet she does not just want you to be sitting around being lazy.

A “traditional” gal wants that security a man can give her. The boss bitch wants you to be just as motivated and competitive as she is. Sorry guys, we just will not give you a break. If you really want to win a girl’s heart, we are going to make you work for it. In both scenarios, the man does not necessarily need to banking a six-figure income (though that never hurt anybody). What your woman really wants to see is that drive – like a hunter or a warrior going for his next victorious kill.

man with beard on computerWhatever you choose to do, do it, own it, and let that fire in your soul warm up her loins. It may be a hobby like restoring cars. You could be one of those ultra-fit types who loves running for charity. Whether you are an entrepreneur or you are working your way up the corporate ladder is irrelevant. Your passion brings the sexiness. Your passion is what will win a girl’s heart. If you are dedicated, she will see that and want to support you, even if she has little to no interest in that particular field.

So, how do you share this dream with her without coming across like a bragging douchebag? Don’t worry, I got you.

Discuss your ideas, not your things

This is a general mark of intelligence for men and women. It is so easy when first meeting someone to rely on vapid topics which keeps a comfy little barrier around the ego and perhaps forego embarrassment. But these conversations are boring and, worse, are quickly forgotten. If you want to win a girl’s heart, make a lasting impression and bring up topics of conversation that reveal your values as well as your passion.

It’s not just about making that old, beat up car run again, It’s the journey through time, sweat, hard work, and dedication resulting in a finished piece of art. Yes, this requires introspection. Which of your values are captured by that task you are committed to? Car restoration- History and tradition; Running – health and charity; Career – how does your product or service better the world?

You can tell her about all the wonderful things you have done, but if you don’t tell her why you did them, chances are she won’t really care too much. Many of us share core values at the base human level. This is a surefire way to make a connection if she does not happen to share your interests entirely.

Let her see you in action

a couple outdoorsActivity dates are the best! They show off your creativity and skill while creating an actual memory together (awwww). “Dinner and a movie” as a date night is out. Take her rock climbing, to a shooting range, hell, take her to your grappling class. Whatever you do, make sure you are together, you look awesome and she has fun by your side.

Storytime for you. My husband and I met while deployed to Afghanistan. I often saw him at various range competitions and doing CrossFit. While we never went on any missions together, just seeing him better himself and compete with peers, being a badass throwing the weights around and showcasing his ability with a firearm…let me tell you, I was hooked. I got to see him in his element and witness the joy it brought him.

Additionally, inviting her to join your journey shows that you want her to be a partner in your endeavors and value her support. I have actually known women who broke up with their boyfriends because they spent too much time in the gym and did not feel involved in their man’s life. That is so unfortunate. Maybe it was for the best and they weren’t meant to be together. Maybe he did genuinely try to get her involved and she just didn’t want to join him. If those are not the circumstances, though, you can be assured that finding a way to involve her would have made her feel like she was a part of his deepest desires…sexual reference unintended.

Your social media truly reflects you

Social media stalking is commonplace. If you think a woman cannot or will not check out your Facebook, Instagram, and whatever else you kids are into these days, you are crazy. If she does not find a way to your page, you better believe her best friend will.

This does not mean that you have to censor or even post less – just be more mindful of what you post. Nowadays that is the real first impression. Do you plan to win a girl’s heart when all she sees on your Facebook are stupid pictures with crude humor? Sharing funny memes is a hoot and shows your sense of humor, but you can really shape perceptions with what you choose to post. She could be impressed with you before she even meets you.

Ask her about her dreams and aspirations

I think this might be an obvious statement. Getting a woman to talk about herself is Dating 101. Have you thought about asking her in a way that actually sparks a conversation? Are you genuine in your interest? She can talk about herself all day and not remember you one bit. To prove you are actually a good listener, it would help to be engaging in the conversation. Smiling and nodding does not count and can come across as creepy.

Remember, she wants you to be driven and passionate about your dreams and aspirations, but she NEEDS you to push her in her dreams and aspirations, as well. Include her in your passions and she will view you as the sexiest you have ever been. Get included in her passions and she will never leave your side.  You will, in fact, win a girl’s heart.

 

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